It’s OK To Admit To Sometimes Being The Cowardly Lion

If we leave the highways and main roads where everyone travels, and explore that unknown path that is uniquely ours, it’s Ok to admit that we will sometimes get lost and become afraid. Being the main character in our own comedy-drama, we like to always remain the hero in our, and other people’s, eyes; but acknowledging the less than heroic truth may be exactly what is necessary to get to us to our true destination.

When our attempts to achieve a goal are repeated frustrated, we tend to internalize that experience and develop feeling of powerlessness even when external obstacles are no longer present. This phenomenon, called learned helplessness, was discovered by psychologist Martin Seligman in the 1960’s. This emotional reaction corresponds to a pessimistic or depressed attitude, in which obstacles are seen as personal failures, and as pervasive and permanent. In addition to being painful, this pessimistic or depressed attitude also leads to unmotivated behavior, in which we don’t explore, perceive or take advantage of available opportunities for success.

Though most of us will experience this sense of powerlessness and become unmotivated and intimidated in the face of repeated frustration, we can do something about it. The first step is to recognize that we have become the cowardly lion. As in many things, self awareness is the beginning of wisdom. In fact, I consider self-awareness and self-management as the first of 7 Dimensions of Wisdom. By becoming aware of how we are feeling and behaving, we begin to see that we have some other alternatives.

The future isn’t fixed. We’re painting it right now in the present using the colors of both our imaginations and reality. Words and images in thought and reflection become things in the world. We can build the bridge from here to where we want to be out of images and ideas made real through courageous reflection followed by action. When we think that we’re at a dead end, it is just a temporary failure of creativity which can be overcome.

As we observe our pessimistic, helpless and hopeless reactions, we gain some distance from them and we can challenge them rather than accepting them. We can learn to use the information we’re receiving that our particular methods of trying to reach a goal aren’t working; but at the same time we can deny the pessimistic reaction that nothing we can do will work. In most cases, our attitude and behavior will need to change before the external problem or obstacle can be overcome. As we perceive the cycle of negative thinking, we can identify it for what it is, a distortion of reality. As self-awareness reveals the distortions in our thinking and emotions, the grip of fear and helplessness is loosened, and we can begin to experiment with new actions aimed at achieving our goals.

We’re all capable of making mistakes in our lives or of experiencing failure due to external circumstances, and we are also capable of overcoming these situations. It requires being open to possibilities and trusting the creative process. We must believe that it is possible to get there and be willing to walk across that bridge. Sometimes we get tired and begin to believe that we can’t get to the other side of the pain and fear to freedom and our second wind. In fact, we become lost in the pain, and forget what it’s like to feel good and confident and right with ourselves. With practice we can learn to remember more quickly, that it is possible to acknowledge the real danger or obstacle, but to not remain afraid; to stay with the joy and the light and to find a bridge across the abyss.

I’m Dr. Bernard Brookes You can learn about the life and business coaching I provide at www.sopphia.com.